In business, it’s said that rather than thinking about how to sell a product, if you are able to become constantly focused on the feelings of buyers, you are sure to succeed. This is also the secret to relationships between people. At first, everyone is the opposite. We force our own thinking on others assuming that it is correct. We are dissatisfied when things don’t turn out as we intend—this is the definition of selfishness. And no matter how much you try to force them, the people around you will not go your way.
This is why I always accept the other’s opinion up front. Then I consider how I can align or harmonize my thinking with theirs. If you do this, everyone will feel comfortable doing their very best for you.
No matter how hard you try to push through your opinion, there are limits to what one person can do.
The question is how you can gather talented people who will cooperate with you with hearts and minds as one. This is what’s important.
When you adopt the reverential attitude that everyone is undertaking bodhisattva practice through their work, the need for you to assert yourself completely ceases. If you accommodate yourself to others, they will definitely meet you halfway, and you will absolutely understand one another.
Nikkyo Niwano
From Kaisozuikan 9 (Kosei Publishing Co. 1997), pp 124-25
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